I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And especially if it’s given from the heart. When people are talking, there’s no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they’re saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it. Most of us don’t value ourselves or our love enough to know this. It has taken me along time to believe in the power of simple saying, “I’m so sorry,” when someone is in pain. And meaning it.
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Archive for Communication
Just Listen
Falling Trees
In the Solomon Islands in the south Pacific some villagers practice a unique form of logging. If a tree is too large to be felled with an ax, the natives cut it down by yelling at it. (Can’t lay my hands on the article, but I swear I read it.) Woodsmen with special powers creep up on a tree just at dawn and suddenly scream at it at the top of their lungs. They continue this for thirty days. The tree dies and falls over. The theory is that the hollering kills the spirit of the tree. According to the villagers, it always works.
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A Harsh Word
A woman bought eggs and butter from a farmer who had a fine reputation not only for the quality of his products, but also for his promptness of delivery. Then one day, when she was expecting guests, he failed to come. On the next delivery, she spoke harshly to him. At the end of her tirade he said quietly, “I’m sorry if I caused you any inconvenience, but I had the misfortune of burying my mother yesterday.”
Ashamed, the woman determined never to speak harshly to anyone again until she fully understood the cause of the delay.
